CATEGORIES: Celebrity Current Affairs Sex
February 15, 2008
…and chivalry is by no means dead.
Valentine’s Day is like the Superbowl for sexologists, and this week definitely was busy, exciting, and overwhelming. I began my week with my regular roster of sex ed lectures and then trained to New Haven for my first of two lectures for Sex Week at Yale. Tuesday afternoon, two hundred and fifty people packed into a room to hear me about "What a Girls Wants: In Search of the Female Orgasm". Not only was it fun to be in front of a group of college students, but their questions were honest, poignant, and provocative. I was definitely impressed. I arrived back in NYC energized by the incredible opportunity the Yalies have to change how we look at sexuality today.
Fast forward to Wednesday, when I had a wonderful interview with Nicole Feliciano of Babble and Momtrends. We talked about sex, parenting, and what to do if your child walks in on you having sex. (Yes, it will eventually happen.)
Now, yesterday...the big V Day began at The Today Show where Dr. Ian Kerner and I talked about Valentine’s Day Expectations and the overall anxiety and pressure that Valentine’s Day engenders in many people, young and old. (Click here for the video.) Then it was off to the Divalysscious Moms luncheon, where I got to spend time talking to new moms about how to reintroduce sex back into their lives. It’s not easy - but definitely important.
The last stop on the Valentine’s Day tour was back in New Haven, where I got to participate in a dialogue about the chemistry of love with renowned anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher. While she tackled the "why’s" of love, I regaled the audience with the challenges and opportunities that relationships have today. And I also got to wax poetic (and slightly cynical) about Valentine’s Day and what constituted a thoughtful gift. (The iPod playlist - aka the modern day mix tape - and a Starbucks card were on my list.) Yes, I announced that my perfect gift was a Starbucks card - because it meant that my partner thought about how I spend my days and what would make those days a bit easier. And you know what? After my lecture, a young man in the audience gave me his Starbucks card. And that was definitely the nicest part of my day.
What do you think? Comments: (0)
CATEGORIES: Celebrity Current Affairs Sex
January 04, 2008
The Problem with Sex Tapes
I have been struggling with exhibitionism these days.
Not my own, but this phenomenon of celebrities (or have-been celebrities, and I use that word very loosely) releasing and capitalizing from their personal sex tapes. The latest rumor is that Vivica Fox has one (though she is denying it) and just this morning, Amy Fisher (yes, the LONG ISLAND LOLITA herself!) announced that her husband released their own documented romps.
(Perhaps we should ask ourselves why one would stay with a person who released a tape with our consent???)
Nonetheless, I am a tad bit concerned with the impact that this has on youth. They have a hard enough time understanding how to appropriately use a camera phone - i.e. there shouldn’t be photos taken in the locker rooms, or while your friends are in compromising positions (especially without their consent). But what does it mean for them when people garner a huge amount of notoriety (though not necessarily the good kind) from a grainy tape of themselves getting it on with boy-toy of the moment?
It is our responsibility to teach our children (and our teens) that celebrities DO NOT represent the average person. The repercussions for us (especially during our school years) could be devastating.
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CATEGORIES: Abstinence Only Celebrity Current Affairs HIV/AIDS Sexuality Education Teen Pregnancy
December 21, 2007
Seriously, What’s Up With Unsafe Sex?
Not that pregnancy is a bad thing. When planned, it can be wonderful...nausea and months of dry heaving aside, of course. But why is this week in particular filled with not so positive stories of conception? Britney’s sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, is pregnant. (If you saw me on Good Morning America yesterday you know that I have some serious concerns about this.) My personal issue is not that a 16 year old was having sex. It’s because clearly we have a societal problem when someone who has financial access to information and services does NOT use protection. (Though because her home state of Louisiana is an abstinence-only state, the information part may have been more challenging.) Nonetheless, what happened to condoms? They sell Trojans everywhere! They are not that hard to find. And if for some reason they are locked behind a cabinet (which I admit is counterintuitive on many levels), a sexually responsible person would still walk right up to the counter and ask the cashier to unlock it. Second, what’s going on with using tabloid journalism to exploit a personal crisis for financial/PR gain? There is a narcissistic and juvenile element to all of this that I just cannot understand.
That being said, this has been a great week for comprehensive sexuality education and those of us who practice and support it. (Check out the recent findings from the CDC.)
But it is evident that we do have problems talking with our children about sexuality. Yesterday on Fox Business, I talked about how we have an obligation to speak honestly about sex and to challenge the messaging (albeit conflicting and confusing) that we get from our media. (Watch it here.) How can we live in a world where condom advertising is censored by some networks but extreme violence and exploitative sex is glorified? Where are our priorities? Is it any wonder why our youth are so confused about sex and protection?
As for role modelling, may I just propose something: Let us redefine what we mean by “role model”. I suggest that role models are not cute, wealthy, press worthy celebs, but people in our lives that are inspirational, give back to the community, and contribute to society in meaningful ways. These may be people from history; these may be family members. But just because someone is on tv doesn’t mean that we should emulate their lives.
What do you think? Comments: (1)
CATEGORIES: Abstinence Only Condoms Current Affairs HIV/AIDS Teen Pregnancy
December 11, 2007
Teens Birth and HIV Stats are Up…Ugh
For the first time since 1991, teen birth rates are up.
In a surprising development, America’s teen birth-rate rose in 2006, marking the first time since its all-time high in 1991 that the rate has increased. The rate rose 3 percent, to 41.9 births per 1,000 girls aged 15-19 (RHReality Check).
This shocking (or perhaps not so shocking) news that teen births are up is a huge slap in the face for abstinence-only advocates. There are 14 million teens in American receiving this information (14 million - can you imagine???). It’s very scary.What does that mean? In a nutshell, it means that we are not doing a good job education our youth about protection, prevention, and yes, abstinence.
Those of us who support comprehensive sexuality education are not anti-abstinence. But we are realistic and believe that in order to present a holistic picture of sexuality, we must teach about the many choices, skills, behaviors, and options that we have with respect to our sexual health.
In addition to teen births, the CDC has begun the process to amend their statistics on new HIV infections. While it had been thought that there were roughly 40,000 new infections each year, it turns out that that number might be closer to 60,000. Frightening and ridiculous numbers for a country where prevention is such an easy thing to achieve.
Why is there so much complacency about HIV? Yesterday I had lunch with my friend, Regan Hofmann, the beautiful and inspiring editor of POZ magazine. We talked about how Americans seem to have forgotten our own history with HIV - how many of us were affected personally by the disease. We saw the AIDS quilt, we remember the marches, we saw our friends and family waste away. Yet it is impossible to teach youth about the relevance of HIV/AIDS when it is perceived as a "manageable infection". The fact is, HIV is not something to be taken lightly. It is 100% preventable. Condoms work. Education works. Abstinence (when practiced correctly) can work. We need more advocates and activists. We can never forget. And we need to evolve.
